


nine times out of ten

by BabaTunji



Series: MCU Ficlets [1]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cousin Incest, Curtain Fic, Established Relationship, Kid Fic, M/M, Pre-Civil War (Marvel), Reconciliation, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 21:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19732543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabaTunji/pseuds/BabaTunji
Summary: a rough day in the Udaku household.





	nine times out of ten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Galaxiaa7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxiaa7/gifts).



> a gift for my lovely girlfriend. one fic a day during her bday week!

  
Excerpt from "Love Drought" by Beyoncé

"Ten times out of nine, I know you're lying  
But nine times outta ten, I know you're trying  
So I'm trying to be fair  
And you're trying to be there and to care  
And you're caught up in your permanent emotions  
All the loving I've been giving goes unnoticed  
It's just floating in the air, lookie there  
Are you aware you're my lifeline, are you tryna kill me  
If I wasn't me, would you still feel me?  
Like on my worst day? Or am I not thirsty, enough?  
I don't care about the lights or the beams  
Spend my life in the dark for the sake of you and me  
Only way to go is up, skin thick, too tough"

-:-

Erik's day starts with a promise. It ends in tears and fighting. All told not unusual these days.

Sayf is pouting. If they hadn't been such a nuisance all day he might even feel sympathy. As it stood he was tired. With a list of duties to attend to that he hadn't found time for all day.

He's adept enough now to know the cause of the fighting and the tears. Less at knowing how to fix it. Anathu is a sweetheart when things go their way. Things had not gone their way all week. Thus they have not been very sweethearted.

Sayf is like Erik. It's fine usually. Useful for motivating them to do what he wants. Horrible when they disagreed on what that should be.

Erik has retreated to his study for the time being. A cycling screen for news and another for what he thought he could get done before he was too tired for anything.

His husband and cousin is away on business. Three years ago their positions would be reversed. But things have changed. They had both agreed this was for the best. Tonight is one night he lets himself doubt it. Politics aside, it's good to be in Wakanda more than he's away. He is good at what he does. Underhanded in ways T'Challa didn't like to be. Happy to let Wakanda's finest make him out to be the bad guy and T'Challa the good one. They both had the same aims. Andhe played the bad guy pretty well too.

There's another letter from a committee he's still debating dissolving and a list of matters for him to investigate. He delegates as much as he can, but he likes to check in. Make sure things are happening the way they should. These days, a lot of what he handles is external. T'Challa is not yet king but the time is drawing near. It’s why he needed to come back permanently.

After his father made his horrible deal with Klaue, a lot of things changed for Erik. T'Chaka hadn't brought him home. But he'd taken responsibility for Erik. It made for an interesting childhood. The occasional visit from his uncle, and as the years passed, increased communication with his older cousin and future husband.

Growing up, Erik knew he shouldn't exist. The realization wasn't malevolent. Just the honest truth. His existence poked a few holes into Wakanda's continuing existence. The effects of his father's actions opening the possibilities for things that otherwise may never have happened. T'Chaka was not a fool. Some days Erik isn't sure to be thankful for that.

His father had done something unforgivable, hence his death. But the damage is already done, took time to rectify. Recovering everything stolen and setting others to right? It takes years, especially with his father’s networks and ambitions mixing with his uncle's own preventive measures. Eventually it merges into something that some on the council would tentatively call an 'empire.' The word is an exaggeration of course. Even if it’s not… incorrect.

His father had had supporters. Traitorous as Wakandans would consider him. T'Chaka hadn't killed all of them. In the end some survive. Others assimilate. The result is Erik managing parts of a communication stronghold by the time he's 17. There are other things involved. Subterfuge, money changing hands. Several deaths for sure. But his uncle would never allow what N'Jobu did to happen again. Or for non-Wakandans to ever utilize vibranium to its full potential.

And so it goes. Most days Erik tries not to think on it, or how things could have gone had he not fallen in lust and later in love with T'Challa.

He doesn't regret his choices. Had known he wouldn’t regret it when he finally met T'Challa for the first time at 15 (T'Challa was 20). Following years of communication, letters and other miscellaneous back and forth. 

Erik doesn't follow his father's footsteps. T'Challa makes it easy for him. He's smiling for days after that first meeting. He sees the strong 20-year-old in his dreams. Spends more time in the shower than when he first figured out what masturbation was.

Things progress from there, and his aunt encourages it. He hadn't expected that. The Queen mother has always been reserved with him. He thinks she always expected him to eventually bite the hand that spared him, stab them in back maybe. Being close to T'Challa—in lust for sure—was better than other things.

After a few years like that, marriage seemed to be the thing to do. Erik proposes because if he waits for T'Challa he'll die first. T'Challa approached their relationship with way more caution than Erik ever did. It makes him feel bad sometimes. For taking so much. But he's greedy. He wants it all. After that (and some more time) kids seem to be the thing to do.

At first it's okay. But then it becomes clear very suddenly things need to change. To accommodate the new additions. Erik thought children would make them closer. It does the opposite. it's not easy to see at first. He loves their Sayf so much. Obsessed in the way only a parent can be. T'Challa doesn't share the same vigor he does but he's there. Till he's there less.

T'Challa is the one to ask about having Anathu. Erik latches on a bit too desperately. T'Challa indulges him. It gets really bad then. For Erik it hits him like a freight train, he sees it coming. But he doesn't know how to get out of the way. or stop what seems inevitable. He goes into forced retirement. Comes back to Wakanda after years of constant travelling. Things slowly start to get better. They attend counselling off and on. The kids get older, more independent. Erik adjusts to the changes in their relationship.

When they talk it's less pointed. They've known each other for years. There are sore spots. Even more to hold against each other when one of them is feeling testy. They fall in love again. Properly Erik thinks. The first time was like a fairy tale. T'Challa was his prince. It just made sense. Perfect till it fell apart. Now they're both adults. Parents. Future rulers. With enormous responsibilities between them. Divorce wasn't an option. At least not without a lot of other concessions. It’s more straightforward (for the both of them) to learn to like each other again.

So he's here now and things are okay. Better if Sayf apologized. Worse if they did what Erik suspected they planned to. He goes over the same paragraph a few times and can't comprehend it enough to move to the next one. So he gives up on that particular assignment. Goes to look for Anathu.

Anathu is in their usual hiding place. If Erik leans down enough he can see their shadow and a sliver of dark hair. "Have you eaten?" He would guess no.

Anathu doesn't respond and Erik waits. He can be patient.

"I'm not hungry." Anathu lies much better than their sibling. It’s something that impresses Erik when it's not getting on his last nerve. Anathu is too much like T'Challa for Erik's liking.

"Come up from under there. It’s time for bed." It was. It was past all their bedtimes. But today's been weird for all of them.

Anathu doesn't respond or move. Erik takes that to mean 'No. '

There are several ways he could discipline Anathu. Today’s behavior certainly deserved some sort of reprimand. Even if Sayf had been the agitator. But Erik just doesn't have the urge to. He's tired.

More than that, he's sorry.

It wasn't too much to ask that both your parents be there for your important milestones. Especially when they were both alive and able.

"The floor can't be that comfortable. You're not in trouble. I just want to see you." He's not lying. He would like nothing better than to carry his stubborn child to bed. Tomorrow was another day.

"Is Sayf in trouble?"

Erik doesn't roll his eyes. Of course that's what mattered here. Assigning blame first and foremost.

"Are you in trouble?" He's trying to be equitable. Sayf agitated but Anathu had been the one to go beyond words. Despite being a better liar, Anathu had a much shorter temper. Erik expects it to get them all in trouble eventually.

"I want some banana cake." Anathu still hasn't moved but Erik considers it a win. Maybe not for the continued peace but for some good night’s rest.

"Come and get it. I'm going to bed." He walks away from where youngest is crouched. Before he leaves the room, Anathu has left their hiding spot and attached themselves to his arm. He's expecting it but he makes a show. Tottering dangerously when they tug insistently.

Anathu was four, and too smart for their own good. "Carry me."

"You're too old." They weren't. Erik still carried Sayf around sometimes.

Anathu ignores his lie to climb up his legs and wrap an arm around his neck. "Do we still have cream cheese? I want some on my slice."

Instead of answering Erik adjusts their position so they're on his back. It's late for a snack but they head to the kitchen anyway.

-:-

There was a time T'Challa would feel actual *apprehension* about coming home. Not necessarily at anyone or anything, just a general unease.

Now all he feels is relief. It's good to be home. When he's there, he can take off the various roles he has to play each day. Put on less stressful ones. Being a parent and a husband were more rewarding too in his opinion.

He gets home late, so he tries to be quiet. Making his way carefully for the master bedroom. He realizes it’s unnecessary when he walks into what seemed to be a sleepover. Erik at the center looking unamused.

"Daddy!" Anathu is quick to seize the moment. Their sibling following a moment later. T'Challa takes the ensuing affection gracefully, but his gaze is locked on Erik. Who still looks unamused and a little—angry.

He pulls Sayf in too after a moment. "I wasn't aware there would be a sleep-over hosted in my bedroom tonight."

"I was here first!" Anathu declares immediately. T'Challa catches the dirty expression Sayf sends their sibling's way and sighs. After another look Erik's way, he carries both children out of the room and into his study. Something had happened today. He wanted to know what.

Sayf chooses to sit on top of his desk, legs swinging. Anathu remains in his lap even after he sits down. Neither of them seem eager to speak anymore. Erik hadn't alerted him to anything so he has to pull the story out of both of them slowly.

Sayf reminds him of himself when he was younger. It’s easy to empathize. But Anathu despite their age sets up a good argument in their support. Surprisingly the issue doesn't seem to be with them, but with him. Sometime during their discussion Anathu slides out of his lap to sit with their sibling.

The two don't look very alike. Mirroring their parents in spirit but not in body. If T'Challa looks he thinks he can see a resemblance, but the two are very much their own people. He offers a solution. Sayf refuses and Anathu follows their lead. It would be funny if it weren't frustrating.

T'Challa will be king soon. His duties will only grow, as will Erik's. Juggling that and being attentive parents... it’s hard. He can promise all he wants, but they all know his promises aren't guarantees. In the end he makes some concessions to the future. When both children are satisfied T'Challa sighs, mollified and heads back to the bedroom.

Unfortunately they follow him.

"Why don't you want to sleep in your rooms tonight?" T'Challa wasn't feeling very tired, and despite the hour had been looking forward to some alone time. With his husband.

"I asked Dad if I could sleep with him tonight. He said I could!"

"He said I could too." Sayf adds as well.

"You're both growing older. Perhaps another night?" When he wasn't here.

"Dad said we could." Sayf sounds positively cheeky. Erik would be the one to send them away, not him.

When they enter the bedroom again, Erik is lying down. T'Challa's expectations for the night sinks a bit. Sleep it was. Except he gets up a few moments later, looking tired but alert.

"Time for bed?" His voice is soft and a little rough. It makes T'Challa want to do things he can't in present company.

"Daddy says we can't sleep with you tonight. Even though you said we could." Anathu takes the lead on their appeal. Sayf following.

Erik's eyes go from him to the two. Who now looked like the closest of friends, after what was probably a contentious day. He snorts, expression a bit sardonic. "You guys made up?"

Both children nodded, speaking to the affirmative. T'Challa inwardly preens a bit. Things weren't easy by any means but he tried. His children weren't unreasonable.

"Cool, then both of you can sleep in your own beds tonight." Both children deflate at once and T'Challa beams. So he wasn't the only one looking forward to some alone time.

There's a bit more wheedling, but even Anathu knows the battle is lost. T'Challa might be moved to reconsider on a matter. But not Erik.

Once they leave T'Challa starts to undress. "How have you been?"

It’s been a long day for both of them he imagines.

"Ready to sleep." Erik has laid back down now, his back to T'Challa.

"Were they that troublesome today?" He already knows the answer but he asks anyway. Its 1 in the morning now.

"They are my children." The usual humor in that statement is missing tonight.

"Did something else happen besides their quarrel today?" T'Challa isn't sure that it's just tiredness. Erik doesn't answer. T'Challa walks over to the bed, climbs in. When Erik still doesn't stir he traces a hand down his side.

When they had first gotten together T'Challa had wondered if Erik was some sort of nymph,his appetite easily outstripping T'Challa's. Then they'd gotten married—and then they had children. It took its toll.

Things have gotten better lately. But there was a time Erik was always 'tired' or 'had a headache.' It got tiring fast. Made T'Challa feel like he was asking for too much. Some sort of horndog for wanting affection from his husband.

They were supposed to be past that now.

"Are you upset with me?" He’s wary of touching Erik now.

Erik finally rolls over and T'Challa tenses in anticipation.

"The kids argued for half the day over something you settled in minutes." It sounds like an accusation. There's no heat thankfully.

"They were angry with me. Not you." He leans a bit closer. If this was about work then he knew what not to say at least.

T'Challa thinks Erik is angry with him. He tries again: "I've missed you. I'm sorry about my children." They were his children when they were being difficult.

Erik sighs. "I've missed you too." He doesn't mention the children. T'Challa drapes a hand under Erik’s arm. Waits for any signal. Erik closes the remaining gap to kiss him. Relief flooding him, T'Challa pulls Erik in closer. The kiss seems to go on forever. It feels so good.

Erik pulls away first and T'Challa follows his lips. He’s manueved one of his legs between Erik’s and he's ready to show just how much he missed him. Erik doesn't let him, stopping him with a hand on his chest. "Not tonight, T'Challa."

It's better than "I'm tired." Their therapy sessions had focused on being more clear with each other. It doesn't deflate his erection but it certainly hurts his pride.

He repositions Erik on top of him. Even if they weren't going to be intimate—any time this week—or next, being close to him was important. "Have you eaten?" It's an easy question.

"Yeah." Erik’s head is resting on his shoulder. After a moment, "Did you?"

He hadn't. Not since early afternoon. He is hungry, but he's not inclined to move away. Lying down as he is now, he can see the merit in sleep. "Breakfast is in a few hours."

"What did you tell them?" Eriks voice sounds curious.

"That I would be there for the next presentation." He would too. He couldn't always put his family first, but this was one time he wants to.

"And that was enough?" Erik’s tone says it’s not.

"They asked for something else too." Related to Erik.

"And that was—?"

"They asked me not to tell you."

"It’s past my birthday." T'Challa had been away for it. He knew.

"It's not a birthday present." T’Challa doesn't say anything else.

"You aren't going to tell me." Erik sounds resigned. But he hasn't moved from the position T'Challa put him in so he can't be too upset.

"I promised." For whatever his promises were worth to Erik.

Erik lifts his head to stare intently. He doesn't look tired anymore. He looks all of his 31 years and then some. He is absolutely beautiful.

"Have you picked a date yet?"

When they'd first made their resolution for Erik to stay home and T’Challa to be the one to travel abroad, it was with the understanding that it was—temporary. Different things, issues and later emergencies had pushed the end date to sometime after his coronation.

What Erik is asking him for is a date for when T'Challa and he would switch places once more.

"Not yet." T’Challa isn't ready to let this, this feeling of home and safety and assurance that when he came home Erik would be there. That their children would know Erik the way they knew their king father. A part of him doesn't think Erik will ever ‘ground’ himself again if T'Challa lets him fly free.

Then there's the insecurities of what happened before happening again. How things were is good. The children were happier. He's happier. And Erik is—sometimes, happy.

"I'm tired of giving orders from a desk." T'Challa's heard this complaint enough to recite the rest.

"What happens after you return to the field?" It's a rhetorical question really. They would be switching places. T'Challa did well enough but Erik was better. Had been handling some of these regions since he was 16. He also managed the tribes and Wakandan politics with similar ease.

T'Challa would be jealous if he didn't know how much Erik hated the politics and the work he did at home.

"The kids miss you. I’m sure if I left for a bit, they would grow a little fonder of me too." Erik is teasing—mostly.

T'Challa had helped as much as he could in the beginning when their eldest was born. But with time his involvement had lessened. Erik just handled everything better. T'Challa in turn made sure to be there when it mattered.

Today, yesterday technically; he had failed. Erik had borne the brunt of it.

"Anathu would riot. They are created in your image, N'Jadaka."

Both of their children were. T'Challa uses his husband's Wakandan name for emphasis. Erik doesn't seem impressed.

"They’ll be fine. Besides, being the experienced mediator you are, I’m pretty confident they would never fight for *half a day* like they do with me." Erik's tone makes him swallow, and then cough.

Bast, his husband was a sarcastic ass. "You'll be mediating for me by then." There's no need to argue the point. His ascension is a forgone conclusion. As is his increased involvement with their children. As is—Erik's return to the field.

"I look forward to it." Erik is smiling now. They kiss again. Less heat now that he knows nothing will come from it. Erik shifts till he is more comfortable. Eventually they both fall asleep.

Two months later his father is assassinated at the United Nations conference and T'Challa's world fractures.


End file.
